The Beginning

Where is the beginning?  I suppose the beginning of this blog is a long time coming.  I have been stuck in a rut since graduating from college.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy, but the dreams we create when we are in high school and even through college are squished by the harsh reality of life.  I have come to terms with this, and I live my life to the fullest (despite the boring underpaid job I work just to pay my student loans).  This blog is much needed in my life as a creative outlook, a release, and a place for anonymity where I can divulge the truth about myself, although it may be to no one but myself.  I don't expect anyone to read this.  I have no intention of putting it on my facebook or telling anyone, but if someone does read this, and it provides them with some form of entertainment, that would be ok too.

I am currently at work.  I work at a desk answering phones in a podunk town in Indiana.  In fact, I commute to this podunk town to keep this job as I recently moved with my boyfriend to a more exciting town down the road.  Commuting to a shitty job...that college education came a long way.  I could interject here with my story, and how I got here and my college life, but it brings me down.  You see, I love every part of my life except where am I professionally.  I love my boyfriend, I love where I live, my family is tolerable at the moment and I have two awesome dogs!  It is that 40 hours a week that sucks the life out of me.  I want to keep up on world news, and my French speaking, and politics, but its not really a topic of conversation in this office.  I always kept up with those issues in class.  Am I losing all that I have accomplished?  Is settling for a boring non-stimulating job holding me back?  Maybe, but what other option do I have?  I don't want to move away, but at the same time I do not see a lot of opportunities for the careers I want.  I want to work for an NGO or a Non-Profit.  I want to be immersed in the great issues of the time like I was in college.  Unfortunately, no one wants to pay you for that kind of stuff....sure, you hear about people who get paid to do that.  You also hear about people getting paid to play video games.  But do you know anyone like that?

I am probably holding myself back, but I don't want to move and I can't afford grad school, so here I am.  Trying to make a lousy career and enjoy life so later I can get on track to do what I want.  That is the plan anyway.  Because the truth is, freedom for me is making a good living and following my dreams in my spare time.  Kudos to whomever can incorporate dreams into career, but right now that is not me.

So besides the whole job thing, my life is pretty good.  I call this a quarter life crisis because I am always searching for fulfillment...even in just having enough crappy work to keep my busy all day.  Unfortunately my work only takes me about 2 hours a day...hence the blog.  Save me from boredom, save me from job hunting, won't someone recognize what I am capable of and come get me?  Give me a chance?  Maybe one day.